Sometimes I Eat Mascots

As fun as it is to elaborately attempt suicide by gas stove every night, sometimes it's nice to go out for a professionally prepared dinner every so often.  It also just so happens that I have a loving parent in the area that likes to spoil me with free food.  If you're really closely paying attention, you might see where this is going.

In case you missed it, she bought me a lot of nice dinners.  It was a tricky question.

To cut a lot of unnecessary exposition out of this post, I'm skipping to the part where my mom and I went to dinner with my cousin AnnaLee, who goes to school out here.  It's worth mentioning that while all three of us live in New York, we all ended up across the country at the same time, possibly as a subtle reminder that my family will never let me escape them, kind of like the Mafia.

"I'm prepared to scour the the Earth for that FINE LAD. If Butch goes to Indochina, I want a GENTLEMAN waiting in a bowl of rice ready to GIVE HIM A HUG." 

We went to Phil's BBQ, a place that had ribs that were beyond phenomenal.  I can't really compare to anything, because this was my first time trying them.  However, reliable sources (my mommy) have reported that this establishment has managed to best even mighty Texas in a taste comparison.

It's okay Texas, you're still famous for open-mindedness.

That being said, AnnaLee was also blown away by the meal, which was more than sufficient proof for me.  We were even introduced to her Food Baby, Escobar, whose appearance indicated his approval as well.  My mother decided she had a Food Baby as well, but hers has webbed feet and flippers or something.  I'm not really sure if this makes him my brother, or if I'm okay with that.

He would later go on to become Danny DeVito.

After dinner was sufficiently destroyed, we got to talking about what exactly made the meat so tender and fantastically tasty. It was then proposed that we could be eating that annoying Gieco pig, and I was more than okay with that.

This little piggy went to Phil's.